Dealing with the pain of infidelity is not an easy thing. Once you come to the realization that your partner has been unfaithful it can feel very much like the ground beneath you has given away. Your life, as you have known it, ceases to exist. You are suddenly thrust into an emotional blender and you feel as though you don't know which direction is up. Trying to process your emotions isn't something that can be done overnight. It takes time, patience and understanding to heal from adultery. There are specific things you can do that will help you move through the pain and get on to living your life again as a whole person.
When you are dealing with the pain of infidelity you have to acknowledge that the affair wasn't your fault. This sounds simple enough but it's not. Many people who are the victims of an affair in their relationship start to question their own self worth. That's completely understandable given the fact that the person you loved most in the world has chosen someone else in an intimate sense. You wonder if it happened because you weren't physically desirable anymore or perhaps you'll question whether your partner has fallen out of love with you. Affairs happen for any number of reasons but in each and every case it's the person who cheated who has to shoulder the blame. Looking outside of your primary relationship for intimate gratification is a choice. Your partner made that choice and it wasn't you or anything that you did that pushed them to do that.
You also have to express what you are feeling to your partner and they must be willing to listen to you. Being cheated on brings up a whole host of emotions in a person. You feel angry, confused, sad, rejected and unsure of the future. You need to have the freedom to explore those feelings and to get them out into the open. If your partner is focused on fixing your broken relationship, he or she will be more than willing to bear the brunt of what you have to share.
You're also going to have a number of questions that you need answered. Even though your partner may cringe when you ask them, it's important that they answer them as truthfully as possible for you. One of the most painful things about infidelity is the mystery that surrounds it. If you don't know the details of what happened, you will constantly wonder. That's why one of the best ways for dealing with the pain of infidelity is to just get everything out in the open so it can then stay in the past from that moment forward.